. it hurts so goddamned much... thank you... Jesus fuck, Dave, thank you!” She stepped off the porch, put her arms around me and hugged me tight. She didn’t mean anything by it, I could tell. It was the kind of hug a girl might give a big brother on her birthday. But holy fuck her body felt good! When I came over I was really just thinking it would make a good story to get a blowjob from a junkie. But as she stood there in my arms, pitiful, helpless, desperate, vulnerable, my thoughts turned dark. I didn't want to get a blow job or even just fuck her. I wanted to hurt her, to rape her, to crush her soul, to destroy her, and to drink in her terror and degradation as I did. "Want" is the wrong word. I didn't want that. I needed it. I craved it. And I would have it.It was like someone threw a switch, and a different version of myself suddenly occupied my body. Who did this stupid little whore think she was anyway, thinking that someone like me would feed her habit just to be friendly? I. "I couldn't move any faster, so she got a good long look at my hairy butt, and to tell you the truth, I wasn't in any big hurry to pull my pants up. Barbara had the always-annoying habit of busting in unannounced, expecting us to drop everything and deal with her problems. So now she stood paralyzed while I finished, staring her right in the eyes. To my surprise, her eyes changed from urgent hysteria to something different, maybe something slightly sexual.We both stood there silently while I zipped up my pants.I wasn't embarrassed; not in front of her! I was more pissed off than anything. Barbara is isn't a good-looking woman by any stretch of the imagination. She weighs about 200 lbs. with big tits, and she always looks sloppy. She wears stretch pants, usually a stained t-shirt with no bra and today her hair needed a good brushing.I sat back down on the couch and she found a place on the love seat sitting at a 90-degree angle relative to the couch."What do you want, Barbara?"Her eyes.
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